David Foster Wallace, A Supposedly Fun Thing I’ll Never Do Again
I really wish My Mad Fat Diary had been a show when I was in my younger adolescence.
i don’t think anyone has any idea how much i worry that i am a bad person. that i have bad thoughts, that the essential core of me is rotten. i worry so much about this, it’s one of my biggest fears.
i think its weird how much what marc maron says resonates with me
(via skum-city)I feel like this a lot too, but I’ve always sort of just assumed that it’s the product of being lonely a lot. Most interactions I have with people mean a lot to me, even if they seem tiny and would be considered insignificant by “normal” standards. I’m also really bad at expressing how much I care about people and don’t know how to not withdraw or feel anxious and boring and excluded around almost all people so that probably tells you…something about me.
No Age - Life Prowler
- Virginia Woolf — from The Waves (via slothnorentropy)
When I was in high school, one semester I had all my classes with this really obnoxious and insensitive stereotypical teenage boy.
One day he was boringly bragging about how he was going to come back to the school after he graduated, so I mumbled “Yeah, and everyone here will be waiting around for you to return with great anticipation and think you’re so goddamn cool.” and everyone laughed for legit like ten minutes, including the teacher, who was apparently shocked that I would say something like that. Because I’m a girl? Because I look twelve? idk.
For better or for worse I spent most of my high school career showing up, emotionlessly doing the work, and imagining I was somewhere else. I actually think I was probably severely depressed and that that was exacerbated by the environment I was in, but I’ve always been unassuming to the point of being undetectable which I’m usually ok with. I think mostly people don’t think much of me at all or hold any sort of impression.
Anyway, he toned it down for everyone and was allegedly afraid of me for the rest of the year after that, to the point that I started to feel bad an apologized (my sarcastic remarks are honestly hardly ever meant with malice).
I used to be carried in the arms of cheerleaders y’all.